To do list I mean To NOT to do list
by Mistress Mairi
Summary: Sakura really should pay attention to this list. It would save so much trouble.


So yes I have been away for a long while. Sorry but I had 10 mid terms examinations for four classes, no joke it was an evil cycle, which of course stopped a week before finals, which was three f%# weeks long. So sorry! I was in a corner of my room hiding with my ipod and my Mr. Darcy teddy bear that my best friend gave me for Christmas after finals. So... yeah... heres a random thing I pulled from my mind. I am working on the rose maiden at the moment but still having a very hard time concentration on one thing for any longer than 20 minutes. So it will be a while. SO SORRY AGAIN! :P

TTT

1. I WILL NOT put green dye into Naruto's, Ino's or Deidara's shampoo.

2. I CAN NOT eat fish sticks in front of Kisame if I do not want him to steal my ketchup.

3. I WILL NO LONGER ask the Akatsuki if they get a good deal on their manies and pendies or if they take turns doing each other's while watching chick flicks.

4. Sasuke and I will NOT hide all the ramen in the village and say they had to ration it because of a ramen tree shortage... Never ever again. (Hehehe Ramen doesn't even come from trees, but don't tell Naruto!)

5. Giving Sasuke pills for his BMS (Bitchy man syndrome) is not a good idea. It just makes him sulk and all the more moody.

6. Accusing Hinata that she uses her blood line limit for less than noble causes, which involve Naruto and the hot springs. Will cause her to scream, turn red and then faint. Repeatedly.

7. It also will make her father rather angry. Which is funny to watch unless he is irritated at you.

8. Furthermore, telling the Hyuuga leader to take a chill pill is NOT a way of making friends.

9. Putting one of Kakashi's author-signed porn books on a fishing hock and reeling it away from him is mean and not a nice thing to do.

10. Neither is flipping Neji's futon. Especially if he is sleeping in it.

11. Replacing Tenten's weapons with fake rubber ones is immoral. Stealing is stealing.

12. Even if you used one of the weapons to cut off Itachi's hair. (Really it is way too long for a guy but try telling him that).

13. IF you DO cut off Itachi's hair, change name, appearance and hiding places daily and pray he will not found you!

14. Shaving part of Lee's eye brows will only make him chase after me more demanding to accept his challenges of youthful spirit-ness.

15. Get rid of Lee and Itachi by challenge Lee to beat Itachi in a large number of challenges if number nine was completed... I mean committed. That should keep them busy for several days... hopefully.

16. Blowing a dog whistle anywhere near Kiba, or any from his clan, is not a good idea.

17. Neither is carrying dog treats. There is no place to hide from a pack of dogs that can basically climb up a tree.

18. Sewing two immortals together is not a good idea. Especially when one is a want-a-be seamstress.

19. Neither is fusing them together with chakra.

20. Hiding in the Fourth 's ear is NOT a good hiding place, for Kakashi will find you and throw you out so he can read his non-porno – porn book. That may or may not have a fishing line attached to it.

21. DO NOT MESS WITH THE UCHIHA MONARCH! Sasuke and Itachi get there fierceness from her not their father. Mikoto rocks and is to NOT be dissed, messed with, or bothered at all! UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES! Unless you are Naruto and sometimes me. Smiling innocently and looking adorable will likely get you out of most... unpleasant situations... with the Queen Uchiha.

22. Getting Tobi to help you water a man plant is never a good idea. Especially if you tell Tobi that a plant needs to be planted in soil in order to survive. This will make the cannibal plant man very mad and annoyed and thirst for revenge. However it will take some time for both halves to agree with each other.

23. When Itachi finally picks up your trail, use ninja skills to sneak into his overly organized room and move one thing ever so slightly. LEAVE NO TRACE OF EVIDENCE! This will cause his OCD, which he most likely has and may or may not suffer from, too flare up and keep him busy while you run like hell.

24. Tying Tsunada's Sake to Tonton is NOT ALLOWED. For she will give chase and then I will have to do all her paper work... again.

25. This will also cause a very angry pig to bite you on your lower leg tendons.

26. Mr. Plant man will help Itachi find you. Hiding in the Bath house, therefore, is also a bad idea. A very, very bad idea! For Itachi does NOT care if it says women only. He will go in and drag you out. Then we will somehow make a very embarrassing appearance in Jiraiya's new book.

Note to self. DO KILL pervy sage later, very painfully. Bribe Tsunada with Sake to see if she will help.

27. DO NOT challenge Itachi to a drinking game when he does find you. For he will clam illness and get Kisame stand in for him. Also he will have Neji block off your chakra for it is considered 'cheating' and 'bad form' to use healing chakra to help you to try and out drink the walking fish man. Further note that he will cheat, but it is NOT 'considered' cheating to him, and make unfair stakes, favoured to him of course, that will leave you royally screwed for life.

28. This will lead to your 'happy' and 'mutual' marriage to said Uchiha and a very happy Mikoto. Who wants pink haired red eye fire breathing devil grandchildren and wants them NOW! Divorce and or annulment of the said marriage are not an option. Unfortunately...

29. DO send sorry notes and fruit baskets to everyone mentioned on this list to see if they will help you killed the now short haired Itachi. Sasuke may be more willing to help, beat Naruto until he does agree help.

If all else fails, run and hide under a sand dune or bribe Gaara with eye liner.


End file.
